Friday, June 29, 2012

It's time for me to step outside my comfort zone...

I won't bore you with the details but I had a huge epiphany recently.  I came to the conclusion that I have a horrible perception/belief in/of myself.  It's not apparent to most people I don't think.  But it's something I battle with constantly.  And because I'm of the belief that the 'apple doesn't fall too far from the tree' observation about humans, I've got to find a way to overcome my issues.  Because if I don't then I can only expect my sons to be no different than their father. 

It was pointed out to me that I only see the negative aspect of people or situations.  And my instinct is to fight that assertion, even though I know it's in fact very accurate.  It's a trait I inherited from my mum.  And something I battle on a daily basis.  But realize that it doesn't actually have to be a battle of any kind.  I've been blessed with other genes or character traits and can quite easily take on those rather than the ones I currently choose.  Because I do think it's a choice I'm making.  Even though I know the outcome of that choice is going to be negative.

So, here we go.  Heading down a path that frightens the crap out of me.  And this I promise you and myself is the truth.  I believe in the observation of Marianne Williamson.  So I'm going to sign off with her classic observation that is usually credited to Nelson Mandela.  I don't think either of them care who gets credit to be honest...

…“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

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